DON'T OPEN THAT CLOSET, FIBBER!!!!!

My husband is an old-time radio junkie. Among the shows he listens to through the marvels of on-line broadcasting is one from the 1940s and 1950s about a couple named Fibber McGee and his wife, Molly. And a running gag throughout the series was their closet, which was crammed full of miscellaneous household goods to the point where, every time it was opened, a cascade of sound effects assaulted the ears. Right before McGee opened the closet, invariably, Molly warned, "Don't open that closet, Fibber!" And, always, he opened it and the sound effects ensued.

And then there was the time, many years ago, when I was living in Cambridge MA and doing my shopping at a place called Star Market, which had a transport service for both groceries and shoppers. Since I didn't have a car at the time, I found that pretty helpful. Anyway, one day I bought a couple of bags of groceries, including a carton of eggs, and got into the transport station wagon. The driver, as usual, loaded the groceries (mine and several other people's) into the back. Mine were loaded last, and the driver left the tailgate open with my stuff sitting right behind it. I pointed out to the driver, as delicately as possible, that if he stopped short or took a tight corner, my groceries, including the eggs, would fall out, and the eggs would probably break. "Don't worry about it," he said cheerfully. "I know what I'm doing." Needless to say, he stopped short in the next block. My groceries, including the eggs, fell out, and the eggs broke.

Well, that's about how I'm feeling these days. Like most people I know, I can see the approaching disasters. I've tried to warn some of those in charge. "Don't worry," they tell me. "We know what we're doing." And then Fibber opens the closet and everything crashes noisily onto the floor, or the station wagon stops short and I watch helplessly as the groceries slide off the tailgate and the eggs break. "If you cut taxes and start a war at the same time, we'll run up a record deficit."/"Don't worry, we know what we're doing." "If you keep appointing incompetent cronies to crucial positions like FEMA Director, the next time we have a natural disaster, it'll turn into an administrative disaster."/"Don't worry....etc." You get the idea. Sometimes, I wouldn't mind being as stupid as the people running the country. At least then I could be surprised by all these disasters.