NEW WRINKLES IN AIRLINE SECURITY
Air travel is returning to its roots. "Back in the day," the word "travel" was closely linked to "travail," which at the time meant "torture." Because of the latest plot to blow up planes, airlines are now forbidding passengers to board with any liquids except medicines and baby formula. The list of stuff British passengers can't carry on board also includes purses and handbags, and food purchased in the airport. Given the current quantity and quality of airline food, this is serious deprivation.
Don't get me wrong, I believe in making flight as safe as possible. I just don't think the airlines have gone far enough. First of all, airports and airplanes are all climate-controlled these days. So why not require passengers and airline and airport employees to disrobe immediately on entering the airport? Never mind strip searching--just plain strip. Actually, I think that may just be a pilot program (you should pardon the expression) for a more general movement toward nudity for purposes of crime control. Think about it--right away you've gotten rid of indecent exposure and peeping-tom offenses, not to mention concealed weapons and a lot of other possessory crimes. For airline passengers, the plane would have to provide blankets, of course.
The British restrictions also include electronics such as radios, CD players, Ipods, telephones, and computers, and make it really hard to carry books and magazines. So once you board, you not only have nothing to eat or drink, you have nothing to do. But that's okay, because the next move on the part of the airlines should be to sedate all passengers and just stack them like cordwood. No more worrying about reclining seats or putting tray tables in an upright position, or that awful center seat, or getting up to use the washroom--you board, you get your shot, you nod off, and the next thing you know, you're landing. This is the natural limit to the trend toward making air travel more and more uncomfortable. The unconscious feel no discomfort and make no demands. They also don't hijack or blow up planes. You heard it here first.
Don't get me wrong, I believe in making flight as safe as possible. I just don't think the airlines have gone far enough. First of all, airports and airplanes are all climate-controlled these days. So why not require passengers and airline and airport employees to disrobe immediately on entering the airport? Never mind strip searching--just plain strip. Actually, I think that may just be a pilot program (you should pardon the expression) for a more general movement toward nudity for purposes of crime control. Think about it--right away you've gotten rid of indecent exposure and peeping-tom offenses, not to mention concealed weapons and a lot of other possessory crimes. For airline passengers, the plane would have to provide blankets, of course.
The British restrictions also include electronics such as radios, CD players, Ipods, telephones, and computers, and make it really hard to carry books and magazines. So once you board, you not only have nothing to eat or drink, you have nothing to do. But that's okay, because the next move on the part of the airlines should be to sedate all passengers and just stack them like cordwood. No more worrying about reclining seats or putting tray tables in an upright position, or that awful center seat, or getting up to use the washroom--you board, you get your shot, you nod off, and the next thing you know, you're landing. This is the natural limit to the trend toward making air travel more and more uncomfortable. The unconscious feel no discomfort and make no demands. They also don't hijack or blow up planes. You heard it here first.
posted by WiredSisters at 12:43 PM
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