BRITNEY, OBAMA, AND PORN-SPAMMING IN IRAQ

I have been reliably informed that the above title should attract lots of hits. In fact, the only one of the above-listed items I'm going to be mentioning is Obama, because I have just for the fourth time seen Barack Obama compared to the late Adlai Stevenson. Most of the people making this comparison probably never even heard of Stevenson until last month. They're probably still pretty vague about when he lived or what he did. Which is partly, of course, because Stevenson is mainly famous for what he didn't do--namely, get elected President, despite running twice against Eisenhower in 1952 and 1956. The comparison with Obama, apparently, arose because Obama has made the mistake of appearing to be a literate nice guy. The last presidential candidate anybody can even vaguely remember who fit that description was, evidently, Stevenson. He was also, with one exception, the last governor of Illinois who didn't leave office one step ahead of the sheriff.

So Obama needs to get himself some street cred. He needs to talk about America's self-interest, and advocate some kind of punitive or violent solution for some current problem, like capital punishment for at least a select group of illegal aliens. Or maybe he needs to invent a new problem, or a new group to hate. Martians, say. Real aliens--three heads, six purple tentacles, and no visa. You heard it here first.